A familiar scene
We’ve all been there…it’s a slow morning, breakfast is cleaned up, and we’ve finally sat down to enjoy a (hopefully still semi-warm) cup of coffee. Our muscles just begin to relax in our favorite chair, we inhale the rich smell of our coffee, take a sip and smile as we enjoy a rare moment of peace. And then it comes…
“Mom!”
“What?”
“I’m booored!”
We check our watch. It’s been approximately...32 seconds after they started their new activity.
Our muscles start to tense. We’re already thinking of another activity they’ll enjoy for…well, maybe two minutes.
Or do we?
What if boredom isn’t a problem to be solved, but a cue that something wonderful is about to begin?
The myth: Boredom means something is wrong.
Many parents hear their child say, "I'm bored!" and immediately think, Uh oh. I need to fix this.
It's an understandable reaction. We want our children to be happy, engaged, and enjoying their day. When they tell us they're bored, it's easy to assume we've somehow fallen short or that it's our job to come up with the next fun activity.
But what if we looked at boredom differently?
What if, instead of thinking, This is a problem that needs to be solved, we thought, This is an opportunity for my child to use their imagination and solve a “problem” on their own.
Boredom isn't a sign that something has gone wrong. More often, it's simply the space between one activity ending and the next idea beginning.
For children, that pause can feel uncomfortable. Instead of seeing boredom as a problem to fix, let’s start to reframe it as the space where creativity, problem solving, and imagination begin to grow. Let’s think of it as the moment children can start asking themselves, What could I do next? They might build a fort, create a game, make up a story, or rediscover a toy they haven't touched in weeks.
Why boredom matters
When we resist the urge to immediately fill that empty space, we're giving our children the chance to practice creativity, flexibility, problem-solving, and independent thinking—skills that are far more valuable than finding the "perfect" activity.
These are called executive functioning skills- the mental skills that help our children initiate tasks, solve problems, tolerate frustration, plan ahead, and become organized. These skills grow with practice. And trust me on this one- your child’s teacher is going to thank you for giving your child opportunities to build these skills at home!
Why children come to us first
Children trust us. That's wonderful.
When they're hungry...mom and dad feed them.
When they're hurt... mom and dad comfort them.
When they need help...mom and dad help.
Over time, they may also learn: When I don't know what to do...Mom or Dad will think of something.
That's not because we've done anything wrong.I
t's because we're loving, responsive parents. Eventually though, we want to shift from: "I'll think of something for you." To "I know you can think of something."
And for a child, that's a huge confidence builder. I love watching a child meet their goals. There’s nothing quite like seeing the pride in a child’s eyes when they conquer something they’ve been working towards.
What parents can say instead
Instead of "You're not bored." or "Go find something to do."
Try coaching.
Questions like:
What have you already tried today?
Do you feel like playing inside or outside?
Do you want to build something or make something?
What's something you've been wanting to create?
Notice these questions don’t solve our child’s problem-they help our child solve it themselves. Over time, children can learn that boredom isn’t something to fear, but a sign they’re ready to move on to a new activity. Let’s help them learn that boredom is simply a bridge between one idea ending and another beginning
Make independent play easier
Many parents feel overrun by their child’s toys now and then. Parents are sometimes surprised to learn that more toys isn’t the answer for solving a child’s boredom. Young children are still developing skills that help them get their ideas organized and begin their play (those executive functioning skills we talked about earlier). They might know what they want to play, but they don’t yet know how to get started. As adults, we often jump in with the entire plan: "Let’s get your blocks and build a zoo, then you can use your stuffed animals to live at the zoo, and grab your Bluey characters to visit."
It comes from a place of love, but when we create the entire play scenario for them, it’s no wonder they don’t know what to do next…it wasn’t their idea! Instead, think of yourself as the person who helps them get started. Help them to gather their materials and get organized, then take a step back. Many kids can take it from there! Keep a few boredom busters ready: An "I'm Bored" Choice Board (snag your free board below)
Music for an impromptu dance party
Audiobooks (Tonies, an app, or your local library)
Open-Ended Creativity Box with cardboard, tape, paper, crayons, glue, etc
A little tip from our house: Dad and I have my our tape and scissors tucked away so little hands don’t accidentally “relocate” them. Trust me on this one.
Don't be afraid of a little mess
Paper. Glue. Markers. Tape. Cardboard. Broken crayons.
Kids' eyes light up when they see an empty box. Suddenly, their imaginations are off and running! What we see as a pile of cardboard boxes, they envision as a castle, fort, or rocket ship!
Will there be scraps of paper everywhere? Probably.
Will you be reaching for those Magic Eraser sponges a little more often? Likely.
But, that's OK. Learning to clean up after a project is part of learning to be independent, too.
When you’re feeling like your house is becoming overrun with adorable little crafts and undecipherable art projects, display a few and help your child to understand that they will rotate out. A little tip from our family to yours: we use the phrase, “That was fun, but now it’s done,” lovingly borrowed from Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. Our kids know that means we celebrate it one more time, then put it in recycling or the trash, making room for a new work of art to display.
A little structure helps
Especially for younger children.
You might say:"Let's get everything set up together. I'll help you gather your supplies. Then I'm going to set a timer for 15 minutes to see what you can create."
This provides support without becoming your child’s cruise director for the day.
Over time, many children will need less and less help getting started.
A quick note for parents
Not every child can jump into independent play easily.
Some children—especially those with ADHD, autism, anxiety, sensory differences, or developmental delays—may need more scaffolding, visual supports, or practice before independent play feels successful. That's okay. Independence isn't all-or-nothing; it's a skill that grows over time.
Closing
The next time you hear your child say, “I’m bored!” remember to reframe: boredom isn’t an emergency, it’s an opportunity. No, we do not need to fill every quiet moment with activities or entertainment-or a screen. Boredom is a signal to you and your child that they are in a space that will allow them to learn more about themselves and practice some of those important skills they’ll need later in life.
Will this process always run smoothly? Nope. Remind yourself that learning to be independent takes a lot of practice and coaching. Over time, you’ll slowly notice that your child may require less coaching in this area. So the next time you sit down to take a sip of your lukewarm coffee, and you hear, “Mom…I’m BORED!” Take a deep breath and smile. You and your child may just be in that sweet spot. There’s no need to jump in and “save” them. Let’s give our children some space. We might be surprised by what they create, what they discover and just how capable they really are! Sometimes the greatest gift we can give our children is not another toy or activity, it’s the opportunity to discover what they’re capable of on their own!
